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Time, Place, and Manner

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A JD PreVuvuzela Would Produce Less Useless Noise

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If you’re wondering if law school is right for you and have $4,500 to spend and 2 weeks to spare, Vanderbilt Law wants you! Vanderbilt Law is pleased to announce its “JD PreVU” program, aimed at undergraduates or recent graduates who aren’t sure if law school is right for them. In this two week full time course, Vanderbilt Law faculty, staff, alumni, and students will have candid conversations with you about the legal market and the law school admissions process. If you’re interested, stop reading and apply now – space is limited.

For those of you who are interested in attending but also cost conscious, you can save $500 by not “lodging” with Vanderbilt for the duration of the course, but you’re still stuck with a bill for $400 a day. If you’re an undergrad in Tennessee working part time (20 hours per week) at minimum wage ($7.25, or $6.70 after payroll taxes), then you only need to work for *click*click*click* …3 weeks to afford 1 day of JD PreVU. The whole program will only take you 30 weeks, a period of time better known as: an entire academic year.

Just to put that cost into perspective, you could take a 6 day mediation CLE for $225 a day. Or if you count each 4-hour day of BarBri’s 6 week program as a half day, they only charge $200 a day.

Vanderbilt should be able to provide a cheaper program than BarBri or a CLE. They don’t need to rent space since they already own the school and they don’t need to pay most of their presenters because they’re already on salary (maybe tack this on as a requirement for getting a summer research stipend?). Odds are the lights are going to be on anyways, the AC will be running, and someone will already be paid to mop up the floors, so the only real expense for this program ought to be some snacks and a few glossy pamphlets. That leaves a lot of room for profit margin, but when you only charge just a little more than $46,000 a year in tuition, you needs the money.

We don’t know what they’re going to teach you at this thing, but we do know one thing: JD PreVU is the probably the best introduction to the law school racket money can buy. And if you put it on your credit card, law schools won’t even have to report it as additional debt incurred as a law student.

Or if you’ve got $4,500 to burn and 2 weeks to spend on deciding whether or not law school is right for you, skip JD PreVU, and instead, contact our staff. In about 2 hours we can tell you everything you need to know, and you can spend the remaining 13.75 days exploring our nation’s capital. Your $4,500 gets you lodging (you can have BL1Y’s bed; he’ll sleep on the couch in the living room), airfare to DC, metro card costs, 3 meals a day, and a happy hour each day, and a fourth meal each day. And a bottle of Johnnie Blue every …what? four days sound good?

Let’s say $6 per breakfast, $15 per lunch, $25 per dinner, $25 per happy hour, and another $6 for a fourth meal, and that’s $77 for food each day, doubled because BL1Y is chowing down also, and that’s $2,156. Plus another $1000 for five bottles of Johnnie Blue, let’s say $500 for airfare and travel (tossing in a few cab rides), and we’ve still got $800 to burn.

We’ll pay you minimum wage, 7 hours a day to work as a consultant, in return for which you’ll be in charge of figuring out where to eat and drink each day. That leaves BL1Y with a little under $100 as profits, and at the end of the two weeks, BL1Y will advise you on whether law school is right for you.

And no, he’s not just going to give a jaded “don’t go” answer no matter what your situation or career goals are. Instead, he’ll spend the two weeks studying you, and create a refined, personalized piece of advice based on what he thinks you want to hear, because screw it, you’ve probably already made up your mind anyways, and nothing BL1Y or Vandy Law has to say is going to change anything, so let’s just gorge on food and booze.

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