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Avoiding Assholedom

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There is a holiday weekend coming up, are you excited?

For those of you who do not pay attention to every word that I put onto the internet, I have often said that I do not get a lot of time off. Since January 1, 2011 I’ve taken exactly zero full days off of the normal work week. Zero. Nada. Zilch. I don’t know if that is my work ethic, my never-ending fear that I am going get fired while away or the fact that I don’t have many things better to do with my time.  According to my calendar, the last full day off I took was when I had knee surgery the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

That changes Friday.

I am getting out of town Thursday night and heading north to the land of Wisconsin for five days with a few close friends. Five hours north of Chicago (six and a half if you drive like Google suggests you should) in a land of spotty cellphone data service and no internet service in the house. Check you email? Not so much. Check you partner calls? Hell no. Check you mindless bitch work? Yeah...no.  I’ve kept telling myself, month after month for the past 24 months, how I need to take some time away from this law thing.  Month after month I’ve set a goal that I have to get through before I can take some time away: this brief, that arbitration or the random fistfight with an asshole client.  Month after month my goal for stepping away gets pushed back.

I’m not sure if I have hit my breaking point but I think that I am close: I am losing my temper with clients on a regular basis (they are f***ing morons afterall), I want to throw a shit fit when a partner acts like an inconsiderate boob (you know, as partners normally act when it comes to associates) and I’ve found myself wanting to actually to do the unthinkable--tell off a particular idiotic member of the judiciary (in my defense, this judge really needs a good telling-off).

Before I absolutely go postal the people I deal with on a daily basis, I need to step back in order to recharge the batteries. It is my hope that the vitriol that I tend to passive-aggressively spew at my opponents will dissipate and in its place the snarky humor that defined my professional writing will return. The moral that I am trying to get at is that a break is needed for everyone or you risk becoming that drunken asshole attorney that everyone hates. I will not become that guy. Ever.  So this is my first half of the year swan song. I am hopeful that when we meet again I’ll be bright, cheery and have won the lottery. In all likelihood I will be bright and cheery and then by 8:06 Tuesday morning, I’ll be on Orbitz planning my next vacation.

Here’s hoping this time away works.  If not, one of you can have my job.

[Read more from The Namby Pamby]


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