Constitutional Daily

Founding Principles

The Tenure Paradox - Robot pimp

Slap on the Wrist for "Non-Consensual Sex" - Lampshade, Esq.

Intelligence: The Gathering - Graphic and Gratuitous

Grads are the New Illegals - Robot Pimp

Meet Entitlement Eric - Robot Pimp

Wherein I Solve World Peace - Lampshade, Esq.

A Necessary Delusion - Shadow Hand

Do you even need to shave overhead? - Lawyerlite

LSAT Jenga - Publius Picasso

http://www.constitutionaldaily.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1573:legal-reasoning-redux-5&catid=38:there-and-never-back-again&Itemid=65

Time, Place, and Manner

...Should have some links here or something.

Banner

A Prelude to an Execution

E-mail Print PDF

This morning recently graduated law students, established lawyers and those who have previously flunked the test will shuffle in the room that will define them. The proctors will glare with suspicion while viewing them with as much warmth as if they used to work in the Lubyanka. And that is only the first 17 seconds these unlucky few are in the room. However despite the welcoming fit for the dental office, it’s the next 31 hours, 9 minutes and 43 seconds that is the real bitch.

As you likely know, today is the beginning of the summer bar exam.

For those who have never taken the test (which I am going to guess is most of those sitting today), it is a hellaciously nerve wracking experience. Despite the pending class action, a hefty number of those examinees sitting likely took BarBri.  This expensive class gave them an insight into what is about to unfold, but not even that can properly prepare and account for the jitters, panic and explosive bowel issues that will predominate the day.

Much like the death penalty, the day is fairly scripted for condemned:

The examinee will walk into the room and immediately be directed to place their personal belongings against the wall nearest the proctor’s watchtower. This is when they will receive the warning that if their cell phone rings during the test, even if it is in the bag holding area, they will Go directly to Jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200 be expelled from the examination center, their test scores forfeited and forever be remembered by the 50 people in the room as ‘that idiot who forgot to shut his phone off’. The next 45 minutes (or so…I’m working off of a four year old memory here) deals with instructions, more warnings, a DNA test and threats for immediate disembowelment if misbehavior occurs.

If this year is like most years, then there will be a lull as the proctors have done all of their allotted work in a faster time frame than they were given. Then they’ll tell the assembled souls to “relax” since they aren’t ready to begin. After what seems like an eternity (think: waiting for the firing squad to reload) the test booklets will be distributed to each person in the room.  More instructions will be read as the clock flies towards the preordained staring time for the test. Those that don’t deal well with this sort of stress will begin to panic, those that failed to shower before the test will likely begin to smell and those who are Honey Badgers will continue to not give a shit.

We’re in the final seconds before those fateful words kick off the bi-annual process. There’s no time left and now it’s between you, God and whatever you can intellectually vomit onto the essay answer booklet.

“You may open your test booklets and begin your test. Good luck”

[Read more from The Namby Pamby]


blog comments powered by Disqus

Philadelphia Lawyer, Unfiltered

The finest blend of analysis, advice, and fury on the internet. Sour mash, oak barrel aged, published at cask strength.

 


Most Recent Article:

In Defense of Risk (Happy Fourth of July)


All Articles from The Philadelphia Lawyer

Author Profile

The Robot Pimp

An in depth look at the emerging intersection of law, behavioral economics, and robots.


Most Recent Article:

The Tenure Paradox


All Articles from The Robot Pimp

Author Profile

Practice Makes Putrid

Legal practice would be all rainbows and buttercups, if it weren't for the clients, and opposing counsel, and co-counsel, and judges, and the law.


Most Recent Article:

Eat Mor Fiv Freedums


All Articles from The Namby Pamby

Author Profile

Gin and Glannon's

As Shadow Hand suffers through law school, the rest of us get a little Schadenfreude.


Most Recent Article:

I Just Work Here


All Articles From Shadow Hand

Author Profile

Irresistible Impulse

Dr. Rob Dobrenski's daring expedition into the psychology of lawyers and the law. (Not a substitute for a life well lived.)


Most Recent Article:

You're Not a Failure, You're a Narcissist


All Articles from Dr. Rob

Author Profile

Graphic and Gratuitous

Sometimes cartoons are the highest form of communication. Those times are known as "most of the time."


Most Recent Cartoons:

Intelligence: The Gathering


All Cartoons

There And Never Back Again

Defunct Big Law attorney BL1Y shares his misadventures as a writer who accidentally went to law school.

 


Most Recent Article:

JD vs MFA


All Articles from BL1Y

Author Profile

Lampshade, Esquire

We're dealing with some technical difficulties here. Hold up a minute.


All Articles From Lampshade, Esq.

Staff Infections

News, humor, and other non-billables from our underpaid, uncredited, unsexy staff.

 


News Articles

Smaller News Bits

Large Numbers of Law

Mixed Bag of Lawesome

Reviews

Scofflaw Multistate Bar Review

Lawyerlite